I’ve stuck my finger in too many rectums today.

Two to be exact.

The first was a baby with constipation. I stuck my pinky up his bottom to feel for hard stool (because apparently this is what we do in peds). He pooped. Constipation solved. We sent baby on his way.

The second was a 4 year old girl with streaks of blood in her poop. We also suspected constipation. I was tasked with confirming this. I grabbed yet another pair of gloves, feeling sorry for both myself and the patient. She was constipated.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.